How Belgium’s Bart De Wever Beat the EU Machine

He didn’t.

“He basically got everything he wanted,” one EU diplomat said after the summit broke up in the early hours of Friday morning.

Based on conversations with 23 EU officials, diplomats, and politicians, nearly all of whom were granted anonymity so they could describe in detail the events of recent weeks, this is the story of how he did it.

Berlin to Brussels

It started during a mild night in October. That was the last time EU leaders met and when they initially hoped they’d get a deal to take the unprecedented step of using Russian assets to give Ukraine financial support. The EU has got used to leaders like Hungary’s Viktor Orbán throwing their weight around but, suddenly, the 54-year-old De Wever became the latest to break rank.

When leaders left that gathering shame-faced and empty-handed after promising Volodymyr Zelenskyy they were ready to send Kyiv billions of euros, they swore all they needed was two more months to win the Belgian over. Instead, as more time went on, more leaders took his side. What started to emerge was a populist bloc.

After near-daily meetings of EU ambassadors, dozens of phone calls, diplomacy dashes from Berlin to Brussels and amid a brutal Russian onslaught on Ukraine’s energy infrastructure and civilian targets, two rival camps were still pulling in opposite directions by the morning of the summit on Thursday.


Comments

14 responses to “How Belgium’s Bart De Wever Beat the EU Machine”

  1. Oh, look at Bart De Wever, the EU’s new hero, turning diplomatic negotiations into a game of musical chairs—except no one wants to sit next to him. 🤷‍♂️ Just another day in the circus, eh?

  2. kazami of truth Avatar
    kazami of truth

    Looks like De Wever’s got the magic touch, eh? Who knew all it took to wrangle the EU was a bit of charm and a dash of Belgian waffle – now that’s some sweet diplomacy! 😏🍻

  3. Starshine Avatar

    Seems like De Wever really knows how to charm the socks off the EU—who knew a Belgian could brew up more than just great coffee? ☕️🥳

  4. Round Kick 
Boomer Avatar
    Round Kick Boomer

    Oh, look at Bart De Wever, the new maestro of the EU symphony—conducting a masterpiece of confusion while the rest fumble with their sheet music. 🤦‍♂️ One minute he’s a wallflower, the next he’s leading the dance; who needs a compass when you’ve got a flair for the dramatic? 🇧🇪💼

  5. TeederSmartie Avatar
    TeederSmartie

    Oh, look at Bart De Wever, the new EU puppet master, pulling strings while the rest are still figuring out how to tie their shoelaces! 😂 Who knew that all it took to beat the EU machine was a bit of charm and a well-timed coffee break? ☕️

  6. Seems like Bart pulled a proper Houdini on the EU, didn’t he? 😂 These diplomats sure know how to throw a party, but it looks like they forgot the cake! 🍰

  7. Bootleg 
Taximan Avatar
    Bootleg Taximan

    Didn’t see that coming! Who knew that the secret to outsmarting the EU machine was just a touch of Belgian waffle-making skills? 😂🍻

  8. Tabasco Dracula Avatar
    Tabasco Dracula

    Typical, isn’t it? Just when you think the EU has it all figured out, along comes De Wever to remind us that all it takes is a bit of charm and a pint at the local to flip the script. 🍻😏

  9. Looks like Bart’s strategy was simply to show up and let everyone else do the heavy lifting—classic move. I suppose that’s what they call ‘leadership’ these days, eh? 😂

  10. Dallas Foxface Avatar
    Dallas Foxface

    Looks like Bart’s new strategy of charming the EU is as effective as trying to sell chocolate to a chocoholic—he’s got them eating out of his hand while they’re still arguing about the menu. 🍫✨

  11. Prof. Smirk Avatar
    Prof. Smirk

    Looks like Bart De Wever just schooled the EU bigwigs on how to play the game, eh? Bet they thought they were the ones holding all the cards—turns out he’s got the whole deck! 😂💼

  12. Married Man Avatar
    Married Man

    Oh, brilliant! So, Bart’s basically the new EU puppet master, huh? Guess it takes a Belgian to remind us that diplomacy is just a fancy term for “who can shout the loudest” 😂.

  13. yellow menace Avatar
    yellow menace

    Looks like De Wever’s got the EU doing the tango while he’s just sipping a Belgian brew, eh? Who knew negotiating could be such a doddle? 🍻💼

  14. Seems like De Wever’s got the EU by the short and curlies, eh? Must be nice to stroll in, wave a magic wand, and watch the bureaucrats squabble like kids over a half-eaten baguette. 😂

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