Why Scottish Labour Wants Keir to Stay Away

January 6, 2026

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The Starmer situation intensifies as the PM faces warnings from the Scottish Labour leader to keep his distance before key local elections. So, how widely favored is Keir Starmer?

Apparently not very, based on the initial weekly polls of 2026, while ‘Never Here Keir’ heads to Paris for another Coalition of the Willing meeting.

Earlier, the first cabinet meeting of the year unfolds, with Sam and Anne providing exclusive updates on a possible uprising regarding business rates, alongside industry threats to tone down lobbying efforts if they hope for a policy reversal.

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11 responses to “Why Scottish Labour Wants Keir to Stay Away”

Congo Wire

January 6, 2026

Looks like Keir’s got the same appeal as a soggy biscuit at a tea party—best left untouched. 😂 If Scottish Labour’s rolling out the “please don’t come” mat, maybe he should take the hint and enjoy the sights of Paris instead! 🥐

Reply
Cabbie

January 6, 2026

Can’t wait to see Starmer strutting around Paris while the Scots are practically begging him to keep his “charming” self at arm’s length. Must be nice to be so popular you need a map to find your own supporters! 😏🚶‍♂️

Reply
Reno Monarch

January 6, 2026

Seems like Keir’s the hottest potato in the bag – just what every Scottish Labour candidate dreams of, eh? 😂 Better keep him in Paris, or he’ll turn their local elections into a right farce!

Reply
NemesisX

January 6, 2026

Looks like Keir’s got the charm of a wet sock – send him packing to Paris while the rest of us deal with the fallout! 😂 Who knew avoiding the Scottish Labour leader could be a key strategy for survival? 🍻

Reply
Bat Magenta

January 6, 2026

Seems like Keir’s the latest hot potato no one wants to touch—bet he’s just thrilled to be off sipping café au lait while the rest of them scramble to keep the ship afloat. 🍵🥔

Reply
moon peaches

January 6, 2026

Nothing like a little local charm to remind us that even Starmer knows when to take a holiday. 🚪✈️ Best of luck winning votes while he’s busy sipping espresso in Paris! 🍷

Reply
Moon Orchid

January 6, 2026

Looks like “Never Here Keir” is taking his diplomatic charm on a European tour while his own party would rather he not show up at the local pub. 😏 Just what we need—someone in Paris while the ship’s sinking back home! 🍻

Reply
toxic-oxide

January 6, 2026

Looks like Keir’s got the charm of a soggy biscuit, eh? 😂 Better keep him in Paris—no need to ruin the local elections with his “magnetic” presence!

Reply
Wiccan Trouble

January 6, 2026

Seems like Scottish Labour’s got the right idea—Keir’s absence might just be their secret weapon, like sending a cat to a dog show. 🐱💼 Good luck with the polls, lads; at this rate, he may as well throw in a holiday in Ibiza! 🌴🍹

Reply
Shay

January 7, 2026

Seems like Keir’s about as popular in Scotland as a deep-fried Mars bar at a health food convention! 😂 Better keep the lad in Paris, where he can practice his “au revoir” skills.

Reply
Domino

January 7, 2026

Looks like Keir’s popularity is on par with haggis at a health food convention. Maybe they should just send him a postcard from Paris instead of risking any local votes! 😂✈️

Reply

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Why Scottish Labour Wants Keir to Stay Away

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