On Tuesday, April 28, 2026, the European Parliament called on the European Union to adopt a consent-based definition of rape. “No means no” needs to be replaced with “yes means yes”.
This conceptual shift is grounded in trauma-informed studies that have conclusively evinced the “freeze response”: people are incapacitated in situations they perceive as threatening. They are unable or too terrorized to asserts their rights and boundaries.
The transition to “yes means yes” is a welcome development. But courts all over the West have been taking it in an unwelcome and shocking direction: even affirmative and enthusiastic consent at the heat of the moment can be retroactively invalidated on multiple grounds, thus denying the consenting party all agency and criminalizing the ensuing proceedings.
A “yes” granted by a sober, enthusiastic partner has been construed by prosecution services and courts across the West as an attempt to please. Or a lack of awareness of the full details of the act. Or a response to imminent trauma or to the resulting bonding (“Stockholm Syndrome”). Or implicit coercion. Or a reflection of a power differential (“imbalance”). Or the psychological “annihilation” and captivity of the “victim” or “survivor” (the French dubious psycho-legal construct of “emprise”). Or being start-struck. Or any of a number of other qualifiers.
If consent is an ever-shifting construct, reversed in hindsight, no consent is possible. People are not mind-readers. Such legal convolutions vitiate any consent granted and criminalize flirting, courting, foreplay, and the sex act itself. All future actions of the “victim” or “survivor”, however exculpatory, are interpreted as a “fawn response” (in itself a controversial idea among scholars).
Of course, such a malleable approach to consent unequivocally granted, opens the door to bad actors who renege on consent proffered or use sex to entrap: liars, blackmailers, political or business adversaries, takedown smear campaigners, or partners who merely regret their decisions post-facto, sometimes years or decades after the event and with zero corroborating evidence.
The legal scene now resembles witch trials and relies on “spectral evidence” and the judgment of judges or, in some countries, juries as to the credibility of conflicting testimonies in “he said, she said” showdowns. These often devolve into morality plays with all centuries-old evidentiary-procedural rules intended to safeguard the rights of the accused summarily discarded.
The presumption of innocence, sequestration of witnesses, contamination of evidence and witness testimonies, the right to confront one’s accuser and cross- examine them (or even know who they are) are all dead letter in cases involving alleged sex offenses. Trials by public opinion and social media have now become the norm. Both judges and juries are not immune to overwhelming peer and social pressures and expectations.
Trauma theory is in its infancy. It is hotly debated. It is infested with charlatans and faddish constructs. Psychology is prone to outlandish crazes as it is: “refrigerator mothers” caused autism in the 1950s, homosexuality was a mental illness in the 1960s, false memories of childhood sexual abuse were “recovered” in the 1990s. Many an innocent suffered as a result of these unfounded speculations.
Comments
4 responses to “Yes Means Yes – But Sometimes It Means No”
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Honestly, if “yes means yes” can turn into “no” faster than a cabbie can hit the brake, maybe we should just stick to a polite nod and a wink. 🤔🚕
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Just what we needed, another legal labyrinth where “yes” can turn into a “no” faster than you can say “quagmire.” At this rate, flirting will require a notarized contract – perhaps I should start selling them on the side? 😂
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A novel approach, isn’t it? Next, they’ll be telling us that “yes” really means “maybe” and “maybe” is just a polite “no” in a fancy suit. 😂
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Seems like “yes means yes” is just code for “let’s see how we can twist this later,” eh? 🤔 Perfect for those who enjoy a bit of legal gymnastics with their morning coffee! 🥴
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Interesting concept, isn’t it? Just when you thought you could get a clear “yes,” it turns out it’s a bit like ordering a pint of lager—good luck figuring out if it’s actually what you wanted! 🍻
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