The election victor, Donald Trump, unsurprisingly dominated headlines like a bear rampaging through a supermarket’s honey section. He imposed rash tariffs on everything and everyone, including uninhabited islands near Antarctica, and had a notable falling-out with Elon Musk, reminiscent of Icarus flying too close to the (orange) sun.
In Europe, it was an unusual year. Germany replaced the charismatic Olaf Scholz with Friedrich Merz, who often appears as if his parking spot was stolen. France and Italy switched roles, with Italy showing stability while France became a basket case, with so many rotating prime ministers that Eric Cantona held the office at one point.
In Brussels, Ursula von der Leyen was as welcome as an unnecessary surgery but survived three confidence votes in the European Parliament, which now leans perilously far to the right.
However, there were positive stories. The new pope is promising, ending the cycle of alternating good and bad popes. António Costa outperformed Charles Michel as European Council president, excelling in ordering meeting supplies and setting a higher standard than Michel, whose performance was lacking.
Looking forward to a brighter 2026. It surely can’t be worse, right?
QUOTE OF THE YEAR: “It’s a problematic sign for European majorities, for Europe, and for climate change efforts,” said Greens co-leader Terry Reintke, displeased with the EU conservatives aligning with the far right in the European Parliament.
Who’s been up
I kissed a PM: In Avril Lavigne’s words: He was a prime minister, she was a pop star. Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry are now dating, showing that even a space-tourism gag and a disgraceful resignation can lead to romance.
The survivalist: Ursula von der Leyen fended off three no-confidence votes, with both far-right and far-left parties targeting her, showcasing that it’s not ideological, but personal dislike. And people think society is seriously divided.
Who’s been down
U.S.-EU relations: The days when the U.S. was fond of the EU seem distant. Vice President JD Vance criticized European democracies at the Munich Security Conference, claiming culture wars, not Russia, are their main threat. With friends like these…
Royal titles: The Duke of York, Prince Andrew, is no longer. He will now go by Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, a middle name that’s punishment enough. His brother Charlie cut his funding: if Andrew needs work, there’s always Pizza Express.
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